Week 18 - Flood Gates Opened

It was another stressful week with a crisis midweek followed by some relief. I have high hopes that the relief will last.

With the drama on the form for HR settled on Sunday, Monday started with me digging in and getting most of it done. I made another delicious pizza for lunch and when Andrea called, I offered her some. After all she'd made the mozzarella I used. She stopped by and ate it on the deck while we chatted. I got more social time when I had knitters in the driveway. We didn't have a fire but enjoyed the company. 

I knew something was up when Cindy wasn't in our morning zoom meeting so called her as soon as we were done. She was a mess after speaking with Ben about being overwhelmed. Not only didn't give her any assurance but suggested she might not be suited for her job. WHAT? I did my best to comfort her and reminded her she's been doing a great job for years. I finished Layton's form, went to Mocha C's for my weekly grab and go lunch then taught all afternoon.

It was very windy Tuesday and when I went outside after lunch, I found a squirrel in the middle of my lawn who must have been blown out of my maple. He seemed stunned so I put him in my wheelbarrow so the cats couldn't get him. I checked on him over the course of the day and after a bit, he started bleeding from his ear and he appeared to be paralyzed from the neck down. I left him there, figuring he would die overnight. But he didn't. I woke up Wednesday and he was still breathing so I had to do something I've never done before and put him out of his misery. I went out in my nightie and bludgeoned him with a shovel. I was bawling before I had him in the ground and got right into the shower in hopes that I'd cry myself out in there. Not a chance.

Once I started crying, I could not stop. I called Cindy and cried some more and was still crying during our morning zoom. I tried to hold it together but couldn't. Then Brook said that if we were waiting for him to do something specific, let him know because he was feeling overwhelmed and had dropped some things. Cindy and I were overwhelmed but that didn't seem to register but now that Brook was overwhelmed, Ben seemed to be getting it. I burst into tears again, suggested it might be time to reevaluate some of our deadlines, and then I left the meeting. I tried to finish the form I was working on between tears and called in sick for the afternoon. I was done! Nora called after lunch to talk through some work and it finally got me focused and I was able to stop crying. I called John and we talked for for a long time that afternoon and I messaged with Dawn during Survivor. Things were looking up.

Ben was off on Thursday and it was a much better day. I worked on the project Nora had called about all morning, taught that afternoon and then ran to The Warehouse, where I bought a bag of lettuce for the first salad I'd had in months. Taco salad and it tasted amazing! Then the phone rang and it was Cindy. She was in the ER high on morphine and was having her appendix out that night. Holy crap! Her husband called me at 9:30. She was out of surgery and would be going home yet that night. I guess no one gets to stay with Covid-19 in the hospital.

Friday brought a new an improved boss. He was full of praise and put no pressure on us. At last! I volunteered to do all of the monthly reports to give Brook time to catch up and that more than filled my day. I went into the weekend hopeful that this would last.

I spent Saturday picking up the house and doing some basic cleaning and I started cooking first thing on Sunday. I made a banana cake, Indian spiced chicken and rice and headed to Cindy's to drop it off. I thought I'd be in and out but Cindy was sitting on the deck and had a chair six feet away for me. We chatted for over and hour and the bonus was her husband remade my compost screeners while we chatted. From there I went to Nora's to drop off fabric so she could make more masks (she'd run out) and then to campus to put a sign up in my feeder. Someone had been rogue feeding crap food and it was attracting bugs and raccoons. It warmed my heart that my cats came to greet me when I drove up. I hadn't been there in months but they still remember my car. I got KFC and headed home for an evening of PBS.

So there appeared to be light at the end of the tunnel. I had hope that Ben had finally seen the results of the pressure we were all under and would lay off. I'd made it through the squirrel tragedy and the resulting tears probably did some good. Take care everyone and stay healthy.