Sunday, November 10, 2013

Week 45 - Hard to Quit

Why is it so hard to quit things, even when I know I should? Maybe it’s my mother’s voice in my ear “Winners never quit and quitters never win!” from back in 8th grade when I wanted to quit band? (Which I did and it was the right decision, by the way.) Maybe it’s my Responsibility strength from the Gallup Strengths Finder? Whatever, I just find it incredible hard. What am I talking about you wonder? Stay tuned.

I read the book The Happiness Project awhile ago and the thing I took away from it was to find what actually makes you happy rather than what you think will make you happy or what you want to make you happy. The very first thing I thought about was being a Master Gardener. I first certified in Rhode Island but it was right before I moved so I had just gotten my feet wet. I had to recertify in Nebraska and from minute one I knew the program didn’t hold a candle to RI’s. But I stuck it out and did make a couple of wonderful friends through the program. But over the years, I’ve gotten less and less out of it and the volunteer hours have been a burden. I’ve beaten myself up for years and had come to resent any time I spent on community gardens while neglecting my yard. So, after reading the book, I started thinking about quitting. And thinking. And thinking.

On Tuesday I got an email from Lorri asking if I was going to the MG potluck on Wednesday. Now I’d gotten a newsletter while I was home after surgery and despite having all the time in the world, I hadn’t even opened the envelope. Seems like an indication of a lack of interest, n’est-ce pas? Regardless, my first response was that I’d think about it and get back to her but as soon as I hit send I started thinking – why was I even considering it? I had done almost no volunteer hours in the past year and was viewing the dinner as an obligation. Seriously? I knew then and there that it was time. Despite having another year before I needed to report my hours, I was ready to quit NOW. I sent an email to the MG coordinator and quit. Then I asked Lorri to stop at my house and pick up the box of data entry I’d taken as a volunteer project but had been ignoring for a year so she could return it at the dinner. I wanted to leave nothing hanging. It felt GREAT! Why did I wait so long? The guilt is gone with one email. I can only hope with that gone, I’ll spend more time in my own garden next year.

That was definitely the highlight of my week. The second milestone was I went back to the pool, which also felt great. Tuesday was my first class and it wasn’t a hard one and I was able to do just about everything. I took Wednesday off, not wanting to do too much, and went Thursday, which was hard. Agony with Alison proved more difficult and all the ab moves were painful and I skipped a few. But all in all, it felt great to be back in the pool. Life really is returning to “normal.”

And another positive is Nora, Cheryl and I got together at Nora’s on Saturday and did our calendar pages, which came out so cute. All done in early November! How’s that for getting ready for Christmas early? We had lots of fun and now they’re done. Yay!

So great week, huh? I hope yours was just a good.

1 comment:

  1. Good for you, my friend. You have to do what makes you happy. And speaking of being happy ... Rhea is coming to visit this week and Mikael is coming in December.